Why is it so difficult for us to take responsibility for our actions, thoughts and decisions instead of setting blame elsewhere? Is it a human being and characteristic thing or is that a cultural and how-someone-was-brought-up thing? Is it something that changes over time? I’ve been working through this for awhile now. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been noticing more and more people blaming other people for their problems. But before that, I started noticing how I was setting BLAME on many people too.
I know it took me a long time to finally admit when I was wrong. And, I sometimes still have a problem with it. That’s ego, right? It makes me think that people who refuse to take responsibility for their own choices live with a large ego. I was one of those people, for a very long time. (Side Note: I went to tag this blog, but I just realized I never posted that blog – I need to reflect on my time at the warehouse and share my story – that’s next). I’ve learned, by trial and error and by being mindful and open, that admitting something I did “wrong” is freeing. I’ve learned that setting my ego aside when someone is expressing hurtful things towards me or blaming me for stuff is the true meaning of freedom.
Yeah, I get upset. I get angry still. I am a very emotional person. I cry easily. One day, I have faith, I will be able to be confronted by someone and not react with emotion or ego, but instead react calming and compassionately. I’m learning! That’s where I am in my growth. I can’t expect everyone to understand me. I can’t explain myself to someone if they’re not willing to hear me. What do I do with that? I have to accept it. I don’t like it, but I can put my ego aside and see their point of view. I will try to understand their perspective. That’s my growth. Yay me! I digress … I don’t want to make this about me. I want to make this blog about something much larger. Please visit THIS link, too. I found it very inspiring to this topic!
We’re all aware that ego is our own thought process of ourselves. It’s our self-worth, our self-image and where our self-esteem comes from. I believe people who aren’t aware of their true self live through their ego. I learned that once I was aware of how powerful my ego was and able to control it (for the most part), I was able to live a happier life. It’s really as simple as that.
Once I was aware and mindful of how my ego got in the way of happiness, I saw changes. Now, I notice when I – myself – start to react based on my ego being hurt. I have a self-worth that I’m proud of and when my ego gets in the way of that pride – or even better – When my pride interacts with my ego, really bad things happen. I bring this up because I believe the more we’re aware of ourselves as individuals, we’ll be happier, which, in turn, will make us treat others differently. It starts with self!
My ego got me through many hard times. My ego protected me when I was in certain situations (interesting that this blog hasn’t been written yet either). I am proud of my ego. I love my ego. I love myself. I love what my ego has taught me. But, this doesn’t mean I’m egocentric. I’m equally proud of my empathy. I cannot be egotistical and empathic at the same time. I have chosen to tap into my compassion for others instead of focusing on me all the time. It is not about me! But with that said, it’s also not all about you either!
Never allow your ego to get in the way of someone else’s happiness or moral standards. We have our differences and we’re never going to agree on everything. Once we accept that, we can start working on our egos. Because once we realize we’re a team and we can accomplish more when we work together, we will automatically put our egos aside. Ego gets in the way of compromise. Ego gets in the way of growth. Ego gets in the way of love, compassion and mindfulness.
I’ve realized that ego gets in the way … so …
Does this realization happen with time/age? Nah! Look at politicians with the government shut down – constantly blaming someone else for the situation
Does this realization happen with growth? Yeah, I’ll agree with that. Growth does come with time though … so then …
Does this realization happen with mindfulness and the willingness to admit our “flaws?” YES! Now that’s when we can set aside ego.
It starts with self
Be open and willing to see your “characteristic flaws”
Accept those “flaws” as who you are
Love those “flaws”
You’ve found self-image, self-worth and self-acceptance
Bask in that for a while
Now, ask yourself, “ego – where do we go from here?”
Love your ego
Be mindful that it can play tricks on you through thoughts and ideas
Think about it!
Yes, this will all take time. It will take strength, courage and faith. It will be difficult. You will feel like you’re losing control – and really! Maybe you are! But lose control though! That’s the beauty of letting go of ego! Ego has you structured and tied down. Ego has you making choices that may not be beneficial for anyone else but yourself. Like I said, it won’t be easy and, chances are, you won’t be able to do it alone. When you realize a “flaw” tell someone about it. In doing so, you’re not only admitting this “flaw” but you’re also getting someone else’s perspective. Now, make sure you’re not talking to someone who will lie to you and has their own ego getting in the way of hearing you. That’s tricky too! But I believe we all have someone (or someones) who will listen to us and love us unconditionally.
If you feel that you don’t have that someone – think again! I will be that someone if you need it! I don’t care about anything anymore except for the happiness of myself and others. The details to why someone is hurting isn’t necessarily relevant to me. All I know is that I am capable of helping. So if you find yourself realizing your “flaw” and you’re unable to find someone to talk to – find me, I’ll listen and I’ll support you and love your flaws! Sometimes we just need to remember that we’re not alone. We, as individuals, are not the only person struggling.
Many bright beautiful blessings