Chaos & Spirit ~ Who will take the challenge?!


I wrote this about a week ago. I’ve been trying to find peace within chaos and it seems to be working. I’m also working on my anger and egowhich has been difficult – but I’m doing better with it. I’m up to three days a week on my punching bag and I’m on day 5 of squats. Once I have a routine with those two things I will add crunches to the regimen. I have lost over 40 lbs since early april and by next april, I wish to lose another 40 lbs. Wish me luck! I’m preparing for what’s to come. I’m trying different ways to calm myself. I’m finding new ways of growing. I’ve dug deep into my past and it’s taught me a lot. I’ve learned many lessons since I started this entire detox and today I am grateful for all of it. The pain, heartache and confusion are, indeed, the things that have made my path clear. Changing our thought process is difficult, and almost feels impossible sometimes. Our habits get the best of us. But, they can change. We can change if we so choose. I will be the woman I wish to be because I’ve taken the challenge ❤

~~~~ Start Poetry ~~~~

Heartache, pain and confusion are the

human form submerged into chaos.

Acceptance is key

when fighting against life’s struggles.

Moments of chaos

turn into peaceful moments.

Those moments

help Spirit become the

prominent force through struggle.

There’s a void in the soul,

almost a painful black hole,

when chaos controls life.

Acceptance is key

when fighting against life’s struggles.

Faith in Spirit is

faith in human form.

Acceptance in human chaos brings

acceptance in peace.

Is there a veil

between Human Chaos

and Spiritual Peace?

Can there be a bridge

to cross?

Is the bridge even noticeable?

From the Human Chaos

grab debris.

From the heartache

gather dirt, rocks and twigs.

From the pain

pick up a the pieces.

From the heartache

find twine.

Take the debris

Take the dirt, rocks and twigs

Take the pieces of your heart

And bind it all with the twine

Clean up those cuts and bruises

Heal the Human Form

by Accepting the Human Chaos.

If the bridge is invisible,

throw all your shit in front of you!

The bridge will become clear

because those pieces you’ve picked up

will, indeed, form a path for you.

Will you take the challenge?


Finding inspiration, encouragment and motivation from Women who have changed their worlds

As tears flow down my face, I’m thinking about all the women before me who made a difference in the world. I’m thinking about women like Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, Eleanor Roosevelt, Maya Angelou and Malala Yousafzai. I’m thinking they are my strength to further my dreams and become the woman I’m meant to be – the woman I dream to be – the woman I know I can be – the woman who will look back at this blog post and say, “yeah, that’s me!”

It’s important to find people who inspire us. I’m a social activist (to stick a title to it) so the people I look up to are people who have changed their world in social manners. The women I idolize are women who have shown courage, passion, love and understanding for their fellow human beings. That’s something I’m capable of doing, too. I do if often. I enjoy doing it. I do it well! That’s why I look up to those women. When I first learned about each of these women – all at different times in my life, of course – I learned that their message was still ringing clear. Even though some of them have passed from this realm of living, their message is still living on.

The words of those who died are stronger now than when they spoke them because it shows that things really haven’t changed. Over the years, after their bodies have died, their words live on. That’s what keeps them alive, I think. They’re very much alive today as they were years ago. That’s amazing! I believe, now, that we need to remember the strength of our ancestors if we are to accomplish our dreams.

So, go find someone to look up to. Find someone who inspires you. Find a cause to live for. It doesn’t matter what it is. If what inspires you is science, art, music, activism, or even extreme wrestling, go for it! Find someone within the topic to which sparks an interest and follow your passions! It’s the only thing that will keep us moving toward our goal of living a pure and happy life. Learning about people who are similar to us and learning about their struggles and accomplishment gives us a sense of connectedness that cannot be broken. It gives us hope. It gives us motivation. It gives us strength and understanding.

Here are a few quotes from the women I idolize!

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” ~Rosa Parks

“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” ~Harriet Tubman 

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt 

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou 

“I raise up my voice-not so I can shout but so that those without a voice can be heard…we cannot succeed when half of us are held back.” ~Malala Yousafzai

Good luck finding your inspiration and dreams! I believe you can do it. All of these women believed in you too! Happy journey!

Finding Peace In Chaos

Today’s theme has been “Find Peace within Chaos.” I had quite a few conversations today that reminded me to stay grounded while experiencing a situation that wasn’t completely pleasant. I noticed that I joke around a lot when things get awkward or difficult. I try to lighten the situation with a joke. Not sure if it’s a good idea, all the time at least. Today, I was reminded of my past relationships with two individuals while I worked at the warehouse. It’s interesting because my experience at the warehouse has not been something I’ve shared yet. 

Quickly, I will just tell you that I worked at this place for many years. I was in charge of the entire warehouse(s) inventory. At one point, we had three warehouses with over 2,000 products in each of them – that’s not including all the refurbished products we stored outside. Well, let’s just say … I ran that place. I played my co-workers every chance I got. In the end, however, I was the one who paid for all that I did. It got UGLY at the end. But it wasn’t always ugly. I enjoyed my time there. Even though I was doing some real stupid and crazy things during that time, the work experience taught me a lot about my work ethics and how I like and don’t like certain working environments. Even though I didn’t see it at the time, the experience at the warehouse taught me how to adapt to a situation. Today, while I was in a situation with someone who matched my previous co-worker’s position, I thought about how I handle the situation before and how I should handle it differently now. So, I did! I enjoy this outcome much more than the previous outcome. It was neat! Reflecting on that moment now, I see it as a lesson learned – a skill that not many people have adapted.

When things get difficult, many people – even me – will react with emotion instead of logic or mindfulness. Emotions will present themselves all the time. Many times people react quickly to the first emotion that hits them. Usually, for me, it was rebuttal and the attitude of “no, I’m right.” I started doing that today. I stopped myself though because I thought back to when I used to do it before. It didn’t work very well for me because I would always, eventually, get emotional and stop talking to the person. Now, however, I noticed I was REPEATING MY MISTAKE and I was able to stop it (I tagged that blog in reference to the beach parking lot situation and how I was able to find the courage within myself and do something different). I switched my response to today’s conversation and it changed the outcome – imagine that!!!

I’ve always mentioned how important mindfulness is so I’m not going to talk much about that. However, understanding my idea of MINDFULNESS will help you with the rest of this blog. Not only is being mindful of yourself and your surroundings important, it’s essential to finding peace within a chaotic situation. If something goes wrong, how would you handle the situation? Let’s take it to the extreme. If there was a shooting at your work or in your school or next door, what would you do? Yeah, it’ll be scary. Yeah, call the cops. Yeah, make sure you’re is safe. Then what? How would the fear settle in? How would confusion, concern and intrigue set in? What would happen when you started asking yourself, “What’s going on.” It won’t take long, really. It’ll even take quicker if there are other people around who are screaming or crying. Our minds process things very quickly. Our emotional state of mind will determine our actions. If we’re mindful during a situation like this, we’ll make choices with logic and emotion; not just emotion. Our choices will be thoughtful and not selfish. This is some pretty intense stuff, right? I mean, I took it to the extreme. I took it to a situation that is terrifying. Who knows how we’ll handle the situation. I don’t know. But these are questions I’ve been asking myself. If I can look at my situation from the warehouse and my situation today and change my reaction – that’s mindfulness. That’s actively changing my thoughts and trying something new. That’s finding peace within chaos! That’s amazing to me!

I share this story because I think it’s important to remember that our thoughts will become our actions. If we can think about past choices and change the way we interact with similar situations, we can change the outcome of said situation. So, hey, be mindful and find peace within a chaotic situation. Find peace within yourself. Find peace within your thoughts. Find peace in your past. Chaos is everywhere. Things are crazy – and getting crazier by the day. We have to learn how to stay mindful and find peace within our lives if we are to survive the struggles in our future.

Blessed Be, Readers!



Ego Check!

Why is it so difficult for us to take responsibility for our actions, thoughts and decisions instead of setting blame elsewhere? Is it a human being and characteristic thing or is that a cultural and how-someone-was-brought-up thing? Is it something that changes over time? I’ve been working through this for awhile now. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been noticing more and more people blaming other people for their problems. But before that, I started noticing how I was setting BLAME on many people too.

I know it took me a long time to finally admit when I was wrong. And, I sometimes still have a problem with it. That’s ego, right? It makes me think that people who refuse to take responsibility for their own choices live with a large ego. I was one of those people, for a very long time. (Side Note: I went to tag this blog, but I just realized I never posted that blog – I need to reflect on my time at the warehouse and share my story – that’s next). I’ve learned, by trial and error and by being mindful and open, that admitting something I did “wrong” is freeing. I’ve learned that setting my ego aside when someone is expressing hurtful things towards me or blaming me for stuff is the true meaning of freedom.

Yeah, I get upset. I get angry still. I am a very emotional person. I cry easily. One day, I have faith, I will be able to be confronted by someone and not react with emotion or ego, but instead react calming and compassionately. I’m learning! That’s where I am in my growth. I can’t expect everyone to understand me. I can’t explain myself to someone if they’re not willing to hear me. What do I do with that? I have to accept it. I don’t like it, but I can put my ego aside and see their point of view. I will try to understand their perspective. That’s my growth. Yay me! I digress … I don’t want to make this about me. I want to make this blog about something much larger. Please visit THIS link, too. I found it very inspiring to this topic!






 We’re all aware that ego is our own thought process of ourselves. It’s our self-worth, our self-image and where our self-esteem comes from. I believe people who aren’t aware of their true self live through their ego. I learned that once I was aware of how powerful my ego was and able to control it (for the most part), I was able to live a happier life. It’s really as simple as that.

Once I was aware and mindful of how my ego got in the way of happiness, I saw changes. Now, I notice when I – myself – start to react based on my ego being hurt. I have a self-worth that I’m proud of and when my ego gets in the way of that pride – or even better – When my pride interacts with my ego, really bad things happen. I bring this up because I believe the more we’re aware of ourselves as individuals, we’ll be happier, which, in turn, will make us treat others differently. It starts with self!

My ego got me through many hard times. My ego protected me when I was in certain situations (interesting that this blog hasn’t been written yet either). I am proud of my ego. I love my ego. I love myself. I love what my ego has taught me. But, this doesn’t mean I’m egocentric. I’m equally proud of my empathy. I cannot be egotistical and empathic at the same time. I have chosen to tap into my compassion for others instead of focusing on me all the time. It is not about me! But with that said, it’s also not all about you either!

Never allow your ego to get in the way of someone else’s happiness or moral standards. We have our differences and we’re never going to agree on everything. Once we accept that, we can start working on our egos. Because once we realize we’re a team and we can accomplish more when we work together, we will automatically put our egos aside. Ego gets in the way of compromise. Ego gets in the way of growth. Ego gets in the way of love, compassion and mindfulness.

I’ve realized that ego gets in the way … so …

Does this realization happen with time/age? Nah! Look at politicians with the government shut down – constantly blaming someone else for the situation

Does this realization happen with growth? Yeah, I’ll agree with that. Growth does come with time though … so then …

Does this realization happen with mindfulness and the willingness to admit our “flaws?” YES! Now that’s when we can set aside ego.

It starts with self

Be open and willing to see your “characteristic flaws”

Accept those “flaws” as who you are

Love those “flaws”

You’ve found self-image, self-worth and self-acceptance

Bask in that for a while

Now, ask yourself, “ego – where do we go from here?”

Love your ego

Be mindful that it can play tricks on you through thoughts and ideas

Think about it!

Yes, this will all take time. It will take strength, courage and faith. It will be difficult. You will feel like you’re losing control – and really! Maybe you are! But lose control though! That’s the beauty of letting go of ego! Ego has you structured and tied down. Ego has you making choices that may not be beneficial for anyone else but yourself. Like I said, it won’t be easy and, chances are, you won’t be able to do it alone. When you realize a “flaw” tell someone about it. In doing so, you’re not only admitting this “flaw” but you’re also getting someone else’s perspective. Now, make sure you’re not talking to someone who will lie to you and has their own ego getting in the way of hearing you. That’s tricky too! But I believe we all have someone (or someones) who will listen to us and love us unconditionally.

If you feel that you don’t have that someone – think again! I will be that someone if you need it! I don’t care about anything anymore except for the happiness of myself and others. The details to why someone is hurting isn’t necessarily relevant to me. All I know is that I am capable of helping. So if you find yourself realizing your “flaw” and you’re unable to find someone to talk to – find me, I’ll listen and I’ll support you and love your flaws! Sometimes we just need to remember that we’re not alone. We, as individuals, are not the only person struggling.

Many bright beautiful blessings