The Moment Fear Turns to Courage

“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence
by each experience in which we really
stop to look fear in the face…
we must do that which
we think we cannot.”
~Eleanor Roosevelt

One must first be scared or anxious before they are courageous. In all things I have tried to succeed at, I have been slightly terrified the entire time. The more I followed that dream I set forth, the anxiety faded, of course, but I was still nervous about whatever it was I was trying to accomplish. It started with my path of college in 2008 when I enrolled at LMC to study journalism. The entire two years I spent there was full of so much anxiety and learning self-love. I was living in my hometown, constantly looking over my shoulder and hoping I would never cross paths with an old client; and I didn’t. I submerged myself into college, and I lived each day with as much focus toward a new life. In doing so, I turned my back on the person I truly am. It’s all good though, I’ve reintroduced myself to myself again.

I believe I had to hide that warehouse worker and prostitute into a corner so I could spend more time on school and getting to know myself on a different level. When attending the university system, nobody knew about my past. Nobody knew anything about me. I hardly shared anything about my past, and it didn’t seem that anyone was interested; which, I’m grateful for. I don’t know if I would have admitted the prostitution. I’m sure I would have lied about a lot if someone wanted to know what life was like for me at the warehouse. I didn’t want anyone knowing I was a mistress to many men. I didn’t even want to admit it to myself. I hid from that woman. Really, I was more like a girl on many levels then.

Not only have I written my memoirs about that time at the warehouse, I’ve sent it to the publisher already. I’m scared. I’m scared my clients or even family will read it. I’m scared it’ll be published, printed, and sold in many book stores. I’m scared of that success. But, it’s the same feeling toward my goals of accomplishing seven years of college. My college experience gave me the skills to write my book, so it’s all synced together. The four years I spent at WOU brought so much enlightenment. Owning a home, connecting with my ancestors, and traveling to Haiti changed the way I saw life; it made me want to share my story. It made me grow. It made me want to change; so I did.

I identified with that warehouse harlot I spent so much time running away from. Not only did I recognize her, I validated her and have fallen in love with her. I’m a worker. My body, mind, and soul are made to work. I cannot be a paper pusher. I cannot be someone stuck behind a desk and a computer. Who and what I am meant to be is all wrapped up in hip-hop music, blue-collar work, and sexual passions. Yes, the time spent in the college system taught me that I am a leader. I have a gift. It’s a gift I will not go into detail about now because it’s off topic, but the time spent in college taught me how to be a leader. But, the college industry is not where I belong. The corporate world is not where I belong. So, after graduation (almost a year ago), I had to find another path.

After losing my home in Oregon, I hit the road and found Colorado as my new stomping grounds. I’ve been here for six months and I’m doing something that terrifies me once again. Like I said, once I start something new I have an anxiety over it. I have this feeling that I’m not good enough. I don’t think I will fail, because I know I’ll succeed – lol – I have that faith in myself that I’ll kick ass at this new position (details in a minute). My lack of confidence is what drives me to do the best job that I can. Yes, I’m hard on myself. Yes, I have negative self-talk. Yes, I tell myself “You suck at life, Jo.” But, it doesn’t keep me down. It doesn’t keep me from accomplishing what it is I’ve set forth. That negative talk is what motivates me. I tell myself, after I tell myself that I suck, that I do not suck! Yes, I converse with myself about this all the time. Not only am I my worst critic, I am my best motivational speaker. I have learned that I need validation from the people who are teaching me new skills. That’s a childhood thing, I think. The lack of confidence I have in myself is from childhood trauma. I’ve had to learn how to motivate myself. I’ve had to learn to be my best motivational speaker because nobody ever gave me credit or validated me for anything I did; well, except for all the great blow jobs I gave. I was recognized for that, which is why I continued to do it. To be honest, it was the only thing I felt I was good at during that time in my life because it was the only thing I was recognized for. Now, however, I believe I am good at many more things.

This is where my new path comes in. I’m learning to be a truck driver. I have driven the truck a few times and I’m doing a good job. I get frustrated because I feel I should already get it. But damn! For someone who’s never driven a stick before, I’m doing alright. There are things I need to learn, of course. There are things I’m still having a hard time with, but I’m doing it. Yeah, I’m scared. Yeah, I’m anxious. Yeah, the nerves are tight when I’m driving. But, I’m doing it. That anxiety it keeping me going. When I hit a cone for the first time in the yard, I jumped out of the truck and said, “Damn it Jo! You suck.” Then, I laughed at myself, kicked the cone, and said, “Nah, you got this Jo! You’re doing fine.” And really, I did great. I am doing well. I’ve only killed the truck once. I’m learning how to downshift, which is the hardest damn thing I’ve ever tried to do. Or is it? I mean really. It seems like the hardest thing because it’s all new, and I have no knowledge of what I’m doing except the three times I’ve been behind the wheel. So yeah, it’s hard. But I got this!

I’m learning a new skill that will allow me to travel the country. I’m going to see so many new places and meet so many new people. Because I have identified with the warehouse harlot as well as the college leader, I’m going to kick so much ass on the road. Yeah, I ran away from that girl I was 10+ years ago, but after reconnecting with her and loving her for who she really is, I’m so grateful for all the experiences I had during that time; even the nasty hard experiences. They’re there, and I’m going to own that shit and continue to share my story with others. People have told me that I’m courageous for sharing my story and doing the truck driving thing. Is it courage? I mean, yeah one needs to be scared and anxious before they can be considered courageous, so I guess so, because damn y’all I’m terrified about what’s next. But regardless, I’m doing it, and I’m so fuckin’ excited I can’t hardly contain myself these days.

So look y’all, I share this blog with you because if you read it I hope you’ll be motivated on some level to accomplish something that you’re afraid of. Do you have a dream you’ve been dreaming? Take a step toward that dream no matter how scary it may seem. Use that fear, anxiety, and terror and focus it toward accomplishing something in your life. We are seeing dark days in our world. There is constant war, death, and open hatred toward others. But when we really identify with ourselves and love ourselves for all that we are, we can shine our lights and over power that darkness. It’s time for us to rise. It’s time for us to recognize our light within ourselves and shine bright. There are millions of us out there who are shinning already and I encourage all of you to shine, too. Please. We need you.

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Revisiting my past is building my future

          The topic of discussion is depression, fear, struggles of falling in love, revisiting the past, and the hardships of keeping ones shit together when it seems their entire life is falling apart. My discussion is, of course, centered on my recent life events; I say recent, indicating the last two years, really. I’m going to start this discussion with my detoxification of my uterus. There isn’t a fiber of my being that wasn’t affected by that experience. My body has obviously changed. My mind is not the same. My spirit has taken on a new course of responsibility. I am not the same person I was when I started the process in 2013. I never expected the shit to happen the way it has, and I’m beyond grateful for how it’s all happened. I now have a working reproductive system, and I did it by myself. I didn’t go to any doctors, and I sure as hell didn’t have any procedures that would allow objects to scrap the inside of my body. Nope! I prayed. I meditated. I soaked in the light of the full moon. I spoke to my ancestors. I reached out beyond this realm, and I found more than I was asking for.

          With the steps taken during this time, I internalized. I didn’t share my experience with anyone except for two people. One is no longer a part of my life; he’s missed greatly. The other one is still very prominent in my life, and I appreciate her more than words can express. I was extremely depressed during this time in my life, and I struggled with a lot of loss. So-called friends distanced themselves from me, too. Not only was I alone, I felt lonely and abandoned. Coming to terms with the loss of my unborn child from 15 years prior, I found a sense of peace within myself. I wasn’t lonely any longer. This uterus cleanse that I did to myself was brutal; I’ve explained this before. Like I said, it wasn’t only physical. This was an entire make over of every aspect of my being. I tapped into my higher self and my lower self. I spoke to my unborn child. I spoke to my previous lives. I identified with my purpose. I knew I was destined to be a mother.

          After I gathered the broken pieces of my life, I started feeling better about myself because I had identified with my past sorrows that were keeping me down. My detox cleared out some major cobwebs of my soul. I started exercising. I picked up yoga again. I found a comfort in being alone. Then, I started planning my trip to Haiti. Being out there continued to shape my thought process; my thoughts changed again. My aspirations grew stronger. I witnessed things I still cannot explain. I honestly believe something from my experiences in Haiti filled the void within my soul that was from the loss of my child. I misread some signs too. Messages that came to me were mixed with a different reality. I made mistakes. I have forgiven myself for those mistakes, of course. And the love that blossomed will forever be a part of me and those involved. Coming home from Haiti and remembering all that I went through that year with my detox, I found myself revisiting my past. I started writing my memoirs.

          This choice, based on my decision making process to take this class my senior year, was the starting point of my entire future. I had spent many years running away from a part of my past that I didn’t want to identify with. I didn’t want my new friends to know about it. But, when I started writing about it, that all changed. With my newfound strength of being alone, and the courage I found within myself from traveling to Haiti, I fell in love. I feel deeply in love. I visited the depth of my soul. I found a lot down there, too. During that journey of deep Jo diving, however, I found something I had forgotten about. Digging down into the depths of my past, I remembered why I was running away. It was a painful thing to identify, and I’m still working on healing from that pain. This was one of the hardest lessons I had to learn, but I learned it, for sure. Love will do that to ya. Upon opening the floodgates of lost love and broken promises, I found myself nearly broken once again.

          More friends distanced themselves because I was being a complete bitch; I was keeping so much internalized again. I still didn’t want to share my past with anyone; it hurt too much. During this time, a little pixie and her son visited me; they kept me alive. They kept me motivated and allowed my inner child to play freely. I didn’t want to be an adult, so I wasn’t. I let myself go completely. I was spiraling down further than any depth I had reached during depression. I kept highly intoxicated so I wouldn’t deal with the pain. I covered it up. Then I realized I had used all my rent money on weed and alcohol; I couldn’t afford to live in that place any longer, and not just financially, but life in general. I am sure I would have taken my own life if I stayed there. I am sure of it. The depression and negativity I was living with would have taken its toll on me; so, I left.

          I didn’t know what I was doing, where I was going, or how I was going to get there. All I knew was that I needed to go. I picked Colorado as my destination, and I made it. And, of course, the depression, past sorrows, and newfound strength all followed me, too. The things I identified with during my detox, trip to Haiti, falling in love, and writing my memoirs has all followed me here. Right now, this very moment, I can still feel the warmth of these experiences. I know my higher being, God Himself, is guiding me on my path. It was my decision to leave a home I loved that has brought me to this place I am at right now; I am homeless. I am struggling. I am scared. I am blessed, honored, and madly in love again. Home is where the heart is, right? Well, my heart is locked up for two more years. The difficult transition I’m in will only bring more warmth and light, I’m sure of it. Digging to the depth of my soul has reminded me of who I am, and I will not hide from that person any longer. I refuse.

          I am not living in my past, not at all, but it is my past that is building my future. I need to remind myself what I’ve done, where I’m from, and why I am who I am. I’ve come a long way since that dirty warehouse worker who got involved in many sexual acts. Even though I can still recall the smell of oil, propane, and wet boxes, I need to identify with where I am today. Even though I can still taste the passionate release of my clients, I need to identify with who I am today. It’s hard though. I struggle with it because I have hidden that part of my past from everyone I ever encountered. It’s not that I’m afraid of judgment, no. What I’m afraid of is expressing my enjoyment. I’m afraid if I express how much I miss my clients, how much I miss giving blow jobs, and how much I want to experience it all again … I’m afraid I’ll go back into the business.

          There is an opportunity that is knocking at my door, and I want it more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. It’s a revisit of my past, of course. It’s a door reopened. It’s an opportunity for me to learn new skills and make a lot of money. I need to recognize that I am not reliving my past. I need to realize that my choices now are based on knowledge of self, knowledge of other, and knowledge of how society works. As a college graduate, who studied anthropology, I am sure to follow this dream and not make the same mistakes I made before. It’s terrifying though. The fear is what’s making me do it. I swear, if it wasn’t for the fact that I am scared out of my mind right now, I wouldn’t be following this hidden dream. I wouldn’t be playing with the hidden gem I found while I dug to the depths of my soul. If it wasn’t for this fear, I wouldn’t be alive. I wouldn’t have the opportunity to do God’s work. I wouldn’t be writing this blog, right now …

A Righteous Path of Faith, Self Reflection and Homelessness

What does one do when they realize they might have fucked up? Laugh! I find myself laughing! I catch myself dancing. I still pray often; in fact, I started reading the bible for the first time ever. I am always writing. And, I tell myself that “This too shall pass.”

Did I fuck up though? Am I a fuck up? That self-dialog does tend to come sneaking in when I’m feeling lost. You see, depression is no joke, and when one is homeless, sleeping in their car or crashing on the couches of strangers, one must ask … What went wrong? Where did I mess up? How did I get here? Then, the anxiety sneaks in and breathing become so difficult. Breathing is hard. Oh the sting and fear of suicide is still there. Those thoughts will always be there. But I’m stronger than that.

I am stronger than that, indeed!

My ego and pride are out the window at this point. My weakness is my strength. To admit that the situation I am in is absolutely from my own choices. I blame nobody but myself. Yeah, I did this. To admit that says a lot. I don’t blame the system. I don’t blame the choices of other people. I don’t blame the trauma from my childhood. I don’t blame any of it. Actually, I don’t even blame myself I guess.

This is my life right now. I just graduated less than a year ago and I’m officially homeless. It’s strange. I have a car – which has radiator problems, of course (lol) – but I have a car. I have food. I have clothes on my back. And I have a new friend’s roof over my head for now. That little girl within myself that I’ve been tending to over the years is safe. The strong woman I have become is responsible for only myself. I do not have children (yet), and I have the loving support of a strong man behind me.

I’m scared though. I know I won’t be able to live this way for long. Not having a safe place to rest my head on a regular basis will take its toll on my life and spiritual strength. I am still weak. I am still afraid. I am confused. I am loved, supported, and respected by my peers. The Universe has brought me to this place and I have accepted it fully. When I’m in my moment, I feel a sense of calm. Even with the anxiety attacks from sleeping in my backseat when it’s 12 degrees outside, there’s a sense of love and light.

Homelessness is not a choice. I have two jobs. I’m working on many things but I have very little cash. I’m in debt, I have no credit, and home is far far away. It’s up to me now to get myself out of this situation I’ve put myself into. I know this. Nobody is going to bail me out this time. My tight support group has become smaller and smaller as time goes on, and right now I question those who once considered themselves loyal friends. It’s strange that I have revisited an old love from 10+ years ago, which has brought me to a place I never thought possible.

My next step will need to be thought out and strategically planned because the next journey I set forth for myself will also be his path, too. Yes, I’m in love. That’s what’s getting me through this homeless situation I am in. It’s where the laughs come from. His love has brought dancing back into my daily life. I have found God because of this man, and there’s nothing that can happen in my life that will break me down. The love we have built and revisited has given me the strength and encouragement that I need to further this path of righteousness of self reflection, homelessness, and faith.

We are doing God’s work.
We are students of His.
We will continue to work with the love and light we have together, even when I’m homeless and he’s … well, he’s stuck right now.
My guardians and spirit guides are telling me stay put and focus on myself for awhile; so that’s what I’m doing…

Oh, and I’m still writing about that Bay Area Harlot I once was ❤ Publications soon, y’all!

It’s time for … a quickie, of course

Sexual passions

Do you know it? Do you know that release of pure enjoyment and ecstasy? I only ask because that’s what I thrive on – well, that’s what I used to thrive on, at least.

For many years I focused on that passionate release, and now it’s taken me to a road of writing and encouragement. I always said, “I’ll never move back to the Bay Area,” And here I am planning my life to further my dream of living there again. Nothing is concrete, but I cannot explain to you how my memoirs have pushed me through into an entirely different – but oh so perfect – direction in life.

After graduation, I was pissed off with everything because the system is so corrupt. I didn’t want to be part of it. I still don’t. I’m talkin’ rEVOLution. I’m talkin’ commUNITY. I’m talkin’ pure light and love, y’all. Unconditional love, compassion, and the ability to talk through our struggles. I’m talkin’ prison outreach. I’m talkin’ motivational speaking. I’m talkin’ youth mentorship. I’m talkin’ LIVING THE DREAM!!! We all have a dream, right? I’m now working on accomplishing the goals and dreams I have set forth. And, by the looks of things, there’s a kingdom waiting for Us…

Dream big, please!

Take a step forward, please.

Forget about the fear, please!

I promise you … moving forward to accomplish a dream is the best thing in the world. I encourage all of you to start living your dreams because it’s about time we start living in a place of light and love … Many blessings, y’all!

More will come, of course. I just wanted to let y’all know that I haven’t gone anywhere. My book is in it’s last stages of edit and this Bay Area Harlot will tell her freaky tale … Much love!

Ego Check!

Why is it so difficult for us to take responsibility for our actions, thoughts and decisions instead of setting blame elsewhere? Is it a human being and characteristic thing or is that a cultural and how-someone-was-brought-up thing? Is it something that changes over time? I’ve been working through this for awhile now. For the past couple of weeks I’ve been noticing more and more people blaming other people for their problems. But before that, I started noticing how I was setting BLAME on many people too.

I know it took me a long time to finally admit when I was wrong. And, I sometimes still have a problem with it. That’s ego, right? It makes me think that people who refuse to take responsibility for their own choices live with a large ego. I was one of those people, for a very long time. (Side Note: I went to tag this blog, but I just realized I never posted that blog – I need to reflect on my time at the warehouse and share my story – that’s next). I’ve learned, by trial and error and by being mindful and open, that admitting something I did “wrong” is freeing. I’ve learned that setting my ego aside when someone is expressing hurtful things towards me or blaming me for stuff is the true meaning of freedom.

Yeah, I get upset. I get angry still. I am a very emotional person. I cry easily. One day, I have faith, I will be able to be confronted by someone and not react with emotion or ego, but instead react calming and compassionately. I’m learning! That’s where I am in my growth. I can’t expect everyone to understand me. I can’t explain myself to someone if they’re not willing to hear me. What do I do with that? I have to accept it. I don’t like it, but I can put my ego aside and see their point of view. I will try to understand their perspective. That’s my growth. Yay me! I digress … I don’t want to make this about me. I want to make this blog about something much larger. Please visit THIS link, too. I found it very inspiring to this topic!

Ego!

Egocentric!

Egotistical!

Egomaniac!

Ego!

 We’re all aware that ego is our own thought process of ourselves. It’s our self-worth, our self-image and where our self-esteem comes from. I believe people who aren’t aware of their true self live through their ego. I learned that once I was aware of how powerful my ego was and able to control it (for the most part), I was able to live a happier life. It’s really as simple as that.

Once I was aware and mindful of how my ego got in the way of happiness, I saw changes. Now, I notice when I – myself – start to react based on my ego being hurt. I have a self-worth that I’m proud of and when my ego gets in the way of that pride – or even better – When my pride interacts with my ego, really bad things happen. I bring this up because I believe the more we’re aware of ourselves as individuals, we’ll be happier, which, in turn, will make us treat others differently. It starts with self!

My ego got me through many hard times. My ego protected me when I was in certain situations (interesting that this blog hasn’t been written yet either). I am proud of my ego. I love my ego. I love myself. I love what my ego has taught me. But, this doesn’t mean I’m egocentric. I’m equally proud of my empathy. I cannot be egotistical and empathic at the same time. I have chosen to tap into my compassion for others instead of focusing on me all the time. It is not about me! But with that said, it’s also not all about you either!

Never allow your ego to get in the way of someone else’s happiness or moral standards. We have our differences and we’re never going to agree on everything. Once we accept that, we can start working on our egos. Because once we realize we’re a team and we can accomplish more when we work together, we will automatically put our egos aside. Ego gets in the way of compromise. Ego gets in the way of growth. Ego gets in the way of love, compassion and mindfulness.

I’ve realized that ego gets in the way … so …

Does this realization happen with time/age? Nah! Look at politicians with the government shut down – constantly blaming someone else for the situation

Does this realization happen with growth? Yeah, I’ll agree with that. Growth does come with time though … so then …

Does this realization happen with mindfulness and the willingness to admit our “flaws?” YES! Now that’s when we can set aside ego.

It starts with self

Be open and willing to see your “characteristic flaws”

Accept those “flaws” as who you are

Love those “flaws”

You’ve found self-image, self-worth and self-acceptance

Bask in that for a while

Now, ask yourself, “ego – where do we go from here?”

Love your ego

Be mindful that it can play tricks on you through thoughts and ideas

Think about it!

Yes, this will all take time. It will take strength, courage and faith. It will be difficult. You will feel like you’re losing control – and really! Maybe you are! But lose control though! That’s the beauty of letting go of ego! Ego has you structured and tied down. Ego has you making choices that may not be beneficial for anyone else but yourself. Like I said, it won’t be easy and, chances are, you won’t be able to do it alone. When you realize a “flaw” tell someone about it. In doing so, you’re not only admitting this “flaw” but you’re also getting someone else’s perspective. Now, make sure you’re not talking to someone who will lie to you and has their own ego getting in the way of hearing you. That’s tricky too! But I believe we all have someone (or someones) who will listen to us and love us unconditionally.

If you feel that you don’t have that someone – think again! I will be that someone if you need it! I don’t care about anything anymore except for the happiness of myself and others. The details to why someone is hurting isn’t necessarily relevant to me. All I know is that I am capable of helping. So if you find yourself realizing your “flaw” and you’re unable to find someone to talk to – find me, I’ll listen and I’ll support you and love your flaws! Sometimes we just need to remember that we’re not alone. We, as individuals, are not the only person struggling.

Many bright beautiful blessings

 

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Stop Blaming the Victim; Start Knowing Thyself

I saw HIM. I spent the night with him. I hugged him, kissed him, and laughed with (and at) him. He hasn’t changed since high school. 15+ years and he’s still the same. The only thing that’s changed is that he talks more … but only about himself. Other than that, he’s the same. It really made me realize that I’m not responsible for him or his feelings or his thoughts or even the events that happened in his life. I seriously felt responsible for a long time. I put so many curses on him. I cursed his name and his life many times throughout my life. I released them, finally, of course. I am nowhere near responsible for his life. I had to see him and experience him again to learn that. I hope the next time I have to learn such a big lesson I won’t have to interact with such negativity. I will not go into detail, but let’s just say … I’m better off! I finally have closure. It’s crazy, and I am grateful for my interaction with him.

But seriously! This isn’t the topic I want to talk about. I just thought it would be nice to know where this blog is coming from. What I have to say is something that came up during my time with him. It’s a serious matter!

People don’t want to talk about rape because it’s such a sensitive topic. To be aware of something means one has to pay attention. Well, I was in a situation, while I was with him. He didn’t touch me! He didn’t even come close to touching me without my approval first. So, no worries there!!! But he did make remarks that made me want to write about rape and women’s safety.

For centuries, our society has blamed the victim. There’s a phrase, “Rape Culture,” that’s been present in many activist groups. We need to stop blaming the victim! If, by chance, he did act upon his thoughts, I don’t know if I would have been able to fight him off. He is larger and much stronger than me. Would I have been blamed if he acted toward me? Yeah, I’m the one who invited him to meet me. I’m the one who wanted to go walking on the beach at 12:30 in the morning. I’m the one who put myself in that situation. However, none of that should be a reason why I am raped. Fuck that! No! The problem is not with me – or any other woman for that matter! The problem is with the person who acts!

So, there are hundreds of thousands scenarios why someone would act in a manner like that. It could be mental health. It could be drugs. It could be control issues. It could even be that they were raped when they were younger and they feel it’s okay. It doesn’t matter, though. All of those things can be the reason, and there could be many more reasons too. Bottom line, women need to be aware of their surroundings. Women need to have a way out. I didn’t. I sit here and think what I would have done if he did act. I wonder if I could have fought him off or screamed loud enough for someone to hear me. I wonder if he would have stopped. These things, I do not know. I am so grateful that I don’t them too!

Look! It is never okay to rape. I don’t care how many mental illnesses a person has (this particular man I dealt with had 3 different diagnoses – I found this out after the fact, of course); it’s never okay! Girls, be aware of the people in your circle. Trust people. Know people. Know yourself! My strength during that moment was my courage to speak up. When he “tried to be cute,” as he put it, I called him on his shit. What I found was that my courage, my strength and still something unknown within me, all intertwined themselves and I was able to speak up. I wasn’t a bitch about it. I didn’t belittle him. I didn’t even raise my voice. All I did was take a step forward, lower shoulders back, raise my head, look up at him into his eyes and asked him, “Did you really just tell me you’d bend me over that bench and I wouldn’t even tell you no? Did you really just say you’d rape me?” Well, his entire “cute” being dropped. He was defeated. He apologized. He “didn’t mean it like that.” Well, whatever! The point is that I was able to take control of the situation. I was comfortable within myself to state exactly what was on my mind.

I encourage every single woman out there to find that inner courage and know thyself! Figure out what makes you who you are. I’m not talking about the every day routine and materialistic shit. I’m talking about that inner core. Your thought process. Your fears. Your hopes, dreams and concerns. All of it! Know it all! Understand it all. Find it if you don’t know any of it. Change if you don’t like it. You have the power to be that strong, beautiful woman you were meant to be. It’s not your fault that people our there would rather look at your cleavage then talk to you. It’s not your fault that people will treat you differently depending on what kind of clothes you wear. It is not your fault! The only thing anyone can blame you for is not knowing how to protect yourself in a dangerous situation. Demand the respect you deserve!

Now, look … I’ve never taken a combat class or self-defense class. I don’t know how to shoot a gun and I don’t know how to stop someone from attacking me. But we don’t need that stuff to have the strength and will power to survive a situation. Yeah, they may help in some situations, but in most cases how we handle a situation is how we survive. If we’re cool headed, calm and compassionate – even toward someone who’s trying to hurt us – chances are, we’ll win. The way in which we contain that calm state of mind during hardships is by learning all we can about who we are. Find your strengths. Work on your weaknesses. Follow your intuition. Meditate. Know you! Love you! You’re worth it! 

I love you!
Many blessings!